Maybe a woman whose husband is also a professional trained to Masters level who went to one of the country’s top public schools and who is literate, articulate, financially , socially and emotionally responsible might be better fitted as a husband and father even to a wife with ‘learning disabilities’ who has supportive friends and contacts in every profession it is possible to get a higher degree in than an over confident, charming yet sexually irresponsible young man whose reaction to a minor difficulty like a wife working long hours is to cast about for solace elsewhere. Yes, I am somewhat emotionally damaged by a lifetime’s verbal abuse for perceived and actual differences, yes, holding down a full time job outside the home as well as managing motherhood, a brain tumour and cerebral palsy freelance journalism jobs and disability activism work might be a challenge, yes perhaps I would not be a ‘perfect’ mother or teach my child Mathematics to the same extent that I could teach him or her French, Latin, Disability Studies, Shakespeare, or history. I could however give any child a moral grounding that avoids bigotry, teach basic cooking and housekeeping skills, make them aware of cultural developments that are wider than those found on the evening news. I could ensure that my child learns early by example the evils of prejudice, the beauties of the English language and the possibilities of faith and Christianity. I would teach him or her that it is not what a person costs the taxpayer that defines their true worth, nor what they do for a living, worthwhile and necessary as employment may be, but the depth of their humanity and their willingness to give everything up , even their life, to protect another human sol.

I would teach them as I was never taught until it was too late, that every man and woman’s worth and choices if they must be measured by the standards of the culture he or she finds themselves in should at least be measured equally against the choices of all other men and women in that culture. Whatever the apparent costs of ‘people with learning disabilities’ or indeed ANY disabilities we should genuinely ask if we are sure what we are walling out when we deny a person the right to a future. If the right to have children is measured by intelligence then we should closely measure all for ‘intelligence’, not merely set arbitrary markers such as ‘learning disability’ which may be misinterpreted and judged lifelong because it was a useful marker that ensured some extra help with fractions and gained a mother some sympathy for her daughters struggles in areas that she herself did not excell in. Despite the fact that one daughter lacks morals, depth of feeling and knowledge even of basic childcare and may struggle to manage with a boorish, narrow husband who may leave HER costing the state far more in child support, because ‘disability’ is a more emotive subject than simple ignorance,it is the masters student who is discouraged, disbarred, and degraded as unfit to be a mother and the narrow minded racist with a mind no more than common who will be hailed as mother of a new generation. What price support for intelligent ‘learning disabled’ women?

As a proffessional currently working on a project to ensure that parents with a learning disability recieve equal treatment, oppotunities and the support they need to be good parents I found this quite disheartening to read.

I can however appreciate the sentiment – a learning disabled parent may well be heading for heartache if the proper support is not provided from pregnancy onwards.

What is clear is that people will form relationships and have sex when the opporunity arises – creating a taboo or applying a total lack of aspiration in this area merely serves to leave people ill prepared to keep themselves safe sexually.
In my experience, some people are able to be good parents – they should be supported to be exactly that. The needs of the child should always be paramount but it seems to me that the assumption is that parents with learning disabilities cannot be good parents rather than that they can, which I belive should be the case.

To remove a child on the basis that it “May” be detrimental in the long term seems self defeating – almost all studies show that removing a child “Definately” causes trauma for both parties.

Would a parent with learning disabilites feel any differently from me if my child was removed?

Re the first comment: The term learning disability covers quite a range of intellectual impairments and has a range of diifering definitions depending on where you look. The most accurate statement is that it is a label which can be applied to people to make it easier to plan services. The people it is applied to usually have developmental intelectual and cognitive impairment which will last their lifetime.

Aspergers and Autism are not learning disabilities – they are conditions or disorders – possibly better though of as learining differences.

ASC (Autistic Spectrum Conditions) may or may not be present in people who have “Learning Disabilities” but one is not an indicator of the other. Without having met Albert Einstien, I wouldn’t like to say which label we could apply to him.

Unfortunately I have had to edit your comment quite heavily. If you read the Same Difference comments policy, you will see that I do not allow swearwords or personal insults against anyone in comments on this site.