Discussion- Becoming DisAbled
Readers, something seems to be bringing lots of you to Same Difference recently. Whatever it is, I’m not complaining. This did, however, make me think that it could be the right time to post a topic for discussion. Please take some time to comment. The best comments will be turned into posts in themselves and placed on a debate page.
So- the topic is… becoming Disabled.
How do those of you who were born disabled see those who become disabled? Do you think of their problems as better or worse or the same as your own? Are they lucky to have had the ability for some time or unlucky to have had and then lost it? And do you think they should be welcomed into the ‘world of disability’ with open arms, or should they be treated differently and form separate groups?
How do those of you who have become disabled see yourselves? How has disability changed/affected your life? Would you like to go back to the way things were? How did you deal with becoming disabled? Do you think that those who are born disabled have it easier or are luckier than you? Do you still feel that there is a difference between yourself and someone who was born disabled?
Remember, although your comments are very welcome, you don’t have to comment. Please don’t comment just to say the discussion offends you- that’s a waste of time. The discussion topic is simply meant to encourage discussion- not to cause offense to anyone in any way. So if it does offend you, I am truly sorry.
Same Difference 
Fascinating discussion – thank you for starting it! I am new to being severely disabled (just over a year), and although I’ve worked in the field of disability since 1990, I was surprised at the divide between the two groups you mention – those who were born disabled and those who have acquired a disability. Yes, I would give anything to go back to the life I had before I became disabled. Whilst far from perfect, it was pain free and I could take lots of things for granted – being able to paint my toe nails, travel in a car, have a bath, sit at a table to eat a meal, go to the cinema etc etc.
The response I’ve had from people who have been disabled from birth has been mixed. Some (most) have been so very kind and welcoming. Others (a small number) almost resentful. The latter group, when I say I wish I wasn’t in pain or disabled seem to take that as a rejection of disabled people rather than as a rejection of disability.
I do very much support the social model of disability (i.e. the problem doesn’t lie with the person’s impairment, but with society’s inability to accommodate it) and think much work has to be done to make life more accessible generally. But that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t welcome the pain being removed or reduced.
I strongly feel that there is enough prejudice and discrimination against disabled people from “out there” without us squabbling within the community as well. But that’s the inevitability of diversity. Disabled people are just as diverse, in terms of approach, outlook, experience, personality, as any other group of people who happen to share one characteristic.
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As a World War II L/Sgt Grenadier Guards my disablement is gunshot wounds both feet caused at age 23 by a German Hermann Goering Division shell counter-attacking Hill Point 134 in Tunisia on 23rd April (St Georges Day) and Good Friday in 1943. Back after several months in Blighty sound advice from Emlyn Lewis that great Welsh plastic surgeon protege of Sir Harold Gillies and Sir Archibold McIndoe brought me out of my Slough of Despond first to recall with thankfulness it was my feet and not my head protruding out of the too short for a Grenadier rocky slip trench . Then to put myself in his hands when he promised he would enable me to kick a rugby ball again. But I must promise to study for a different career to sport ; have more to do helping others than I had time to do it in and thus able to able to shed self pity . Nearing 90 in February 2010 my life has been one of fulfilment still with insufficient time to do all I want to do after 56 years of marriage to a St John`s nurse sadly deceased in August 1999 but with the blessing of two sons , two daughters, nine grand children nine GtGC with another arriving shortly. I have all my marbles (DV) and feel a lucky man still working for disabled and elderly vulnerable people.
As to those disabled from birth I never forget on a visit to Riding for the Disabled looking sadly at a happy and beautiful lady with stumps for arms and legs –a thalidomide baby – I think. To us Rotarian visitors she said “I think you are feelng sorry for me ar`n`t you ? ” ! “Please do not” , , “I have never known anything different and thank Heaven I can speak , record books , sit on a special saddle of a pony and thoroughly enjoy life”. What an unforgettable lesson that was. Sincerely John Morris.
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