News Headlines- Sunday, 1st April 2012
The Wheelchair That Floats In Water– Disability Now
Scientists in Australia have invented a wheelchair that floats in swimming pools. It is said to have waterproof wheels and tyres. Its only disadvantage is that it is too big to fit in bathtubs. Still, now swimming pools won’t have to make themselves accessible, because you will soon be able to swim from the comfort of your wheelchair.
Chocolate Ear Sweets Restore Hearing- Able Magazine
From the inventors of chocolate eyeball biscuits come chocolate ear sweets! This time they are shaped like ears and eating two sweets a day is said to restore lost hearing within a week.
Peanut Butter Sandwiches Cure Cerebral Palsy- Bobath News
After over 30 years, The Bobath Centre announces with some sadness that it is to close down at the end of this month. After speaking to some of her patients, one of our senior physiotherapists, who has asked to remain nameless, has discovered that eating a peanut butter sandwich every day of your life leads to significant improvements in function for children with Cerebral Palsy. We plan to send all our patients home on Friday, April 27th with a year’s free supply of peanut butter, and after that date, we can’t see the point in staying open.
Disability Friendly Potato Shapes Created For Children- Tesco Magazine
We’ve all heard of potato alphabets. Well, now a sensitive young mother has created a rather different child-friendly chip. The new potato shapes are shaped like wheelchairs, walking frames and white sticks. They are expected to go on sale at your local Tesco store from midnight on Sunday, April 1st. We hope that after eating them, disabled children will feel included and non-disabled children will learn what these pieces of essential disability-related equipment look like.
Disability Campaigner Joins The Conservative Party- Same Difference
Disability bloggers and disabled people will be sad to read that the Same Difference disability website is to close down at midnight tonight. Editor Samedifference1 has re-discovered her love of peanut butter sandwiches after being reliably informed that they cure her disability. And now that she has been given a definite miraculous cure, she writes, she has decided to close down the site and join the UK Conservative Party. She wishes readers well and adds that she hopes to see them in Westminster in 2015 as an MP for the party led by her new best friend, David Cameron.
Whatever gives you the idea the Tories will win another term in office. What with the lies they have told, the demolition of the Welfare State and the destruction of the NHS, and the latest panic of petrol. These buffoons will find themselves unelectable.
John Hargrave- You’ve been April Fooled!