Twenty Things I Would Do If I Was Not Disabled For A Day

This is a guest post by Keir McCarton. Thanks to Keir.

What would I do with my day if I did not have a disability? Hmmm good question, I always think I would do loads but now that I have to write about it I can’t think of anything.

I have lived with my disability since birth. I inherited it from my father- it was not the fault of some sort of personal injury or  medical negligence. Gradually as I have journeyed from the shallow waters of childhood through the ever challenging, sometimes vastly bleak, stormy waters of teenage life, and now dragged by the currents of time into the deeper waters of my late 20s, my disability has progressively become worse.

It’s because of the fact that I was not the victim of some sort of horrendous car accident or worse, that if I was made able bodied for a day I would not want the big things like skydiving, swimming with sharks or something else completely extreme that a disabled person states they would do – with just a hint of cliché. The things I would do are simple, personal to me and would mean the world if I could do them just for one day.

I suffer from an incurable, neurological condition called CMT. Failing to be a neurologist I cannot fully fill you in with all the facts, if this type of thing interests you then read up on it here. The noticeable effects the condition has on me fall into 3 main ailments; my hands shake constantly, some days ever so slightly and some days uncontrollably; I have poor balance and mobility due to certain muscles not working properly in the feet and legs; and I have developed scoliosis which is a curvature of the spine.

Taking into account the pain I get from my back, the inability to shift my legs at any speed or grace, even though my brain is telling it to and the unsteadiness of my hands. Then these are the things I would do with my day if I was able bodied.

1. Wake up go make a cup of coffee and walk with it into the lounge sit and drink without spilling half of it and scolding my hands in the process. My delicate typing hands as well.
2.  Type a sentence wuickly without havng to contantly go back and coreect mis typed letters.

That was my first attempt what it should have said was

Type a sentence quickly without having to constantly go back and correct miss-typed letters.

3. Wear a pair of trainers other than the skater shoes with the large sole that helps me retain my balance.

4. Walk down a flight of stairs with ease and ability.

5. Carry a pint of beer from bar to my seat without shaking, spilling and having half the pub asking if I have the DT’s.

6. Go for a run without looking like I am Forrest Gump taking his first steps.

7. Beat someone in a running race.

8. Roller skate/Ice skate, play football, complete an assault course, walk in the countryside without stumbling all the time.

9. Beat someone at a game of ‘Operation’. I’m fed up of his red nose now.

10.  Hop on my left leg – never been able to do it.

11. Walk in a straight line, I always lose balance and veer left and right as I walk.

12. Walk outside without stumbling over raised paving stones, curbs etc – due to foot drop.

13. Walk down the street with confidence because I would not think people were looking at me.

14. Use my smartphone one handed, quickly and efficiently.

15. Sit at the cinema and enjoy the film without feeling any back pain from the crammed in crappy seating.

16. Drive my car for more than an hour without my back feeling like it has just been run over by an articulated lorry.

17. Go out, get on the dance floor and do not lose my balance every two minutes and have to use strangers as stabilizers to prevent a fall to the floor.

18. To walk to the edge of a cliff or tall obstacle, enjoy the view and not feel trepidation that my balance will fail me and I will fall to my death.

19. Draw and paint to a degree of accuracy and detail that I have not been able to do for 12 years since my hands became worse and worse.

20. Blend into a crowd.

Generally speaking I would just like to feel 100% able bodied for at least one day. To do all the minor things that people take for granted. These things are not drastically important to a person’s wellbeing but living with the inability to perform simple tasks is an annoyance, an irritation, a daily frustration, a thousand ‘woe is me’ moments.

But these are all superficial problems, yes I’m not 100% able bodied like most people but I can walk, I have my eyesight etc. There’s an old Indian saying I heard watching The Soprano’s yet I found very profound.

“Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while, a great wind carries me across the sky”

Ojibwe Saying.

In other words life passes you by regardless of your situation, if you spend so much time feeling sorry for yourself you will miss life, it will pass you by and all you did in your time was feel sorry for yourself. Don’t waste your opportunity regardless of your physical, mental or financial wellbeing. We focus on our imperfections, the small trivial things and we become so wound up in ourselves that we do not realise that we are part of a bigger picture, forever part of the cosmic dust.

If I look at it practically then I am lucky, I don’t live in Iraq, Afghanistan or Syria. My life is easy it’s not a fight for survival like 90% of other living things including most humans have to undertake. I live in the UK and like most people take for granted the opportunities and security that is afforded to me. I have a partner we have been together 8 years, she is stunningly beautiful and we are like 2 peas in a pod. Moaning about a few physical imperfections is just a trivial matter when I know I’m part of something bigger. That is why I would want to feel able bodied for 1 day only, because other than that I am actually very lucky.