Young Disabled Peope DO Have Sex- And We Should Talk About It

“We’re all human, we all have sex,” 19-year-old Jack West says.

“Just because you’re disabled doesn’t mean you’re not going to, or you’re not able to do it.”

New research from the charity Scope suggests that just one in 10 non-disabled young people has been on a date with a person with a disability.

Their new campaign, End the Awkward, is looking to make people feel more comfortable when talking to – or dating – a disabled person.

“They ask me a lot about my sex life, that’s pretty weird, because it’s none of their business,” says 24-year-old Holly Dunkley.

Like many people her age, she’s looking for a partner on dating apps and websites. She also uses a wheelchair.

“They just assume that I’m a virgin,” she says of the men she meets online.

Holly has cerebral palsy and sclerosis and says some people she meets treat her disability like a “taboo”, while only a “handful” speak to her like a normal person.

“They’ll say things like, ‘You’re too pretty to be in a wheelchair,'” she explains. “You can have a normal sex life and have a disability.”

Holly says one of the misconceptions is that a partner might “hurt” or “damage” her.

Jack has a condition known as hemiplegia, which affects the movement in the right side of his body. He is also a mixed marital arts fighter.

He’s just started a new relationship and says he’s confident talking to people in clubs and bars. He met his current girlfriend on a night out.

Although the majority of his experiences are positive, occasionally when he’s tried online dating, he has received unpleasant comments.

“I do remember speaking to one person, I mentioned my disability and they said ‘that’s disgusting’ and they didn’t talk to me.

“But I laughed about it. That’s the sort of person I am. I’ve grown a thick skin.”

Scope is campaigning for non-disabled people to be more open to meeting people with a disability.

Their research, which surveyed 2,000 people from a self-selecting panel, suggests that more than half of people aged between 18 and 35 had never started a conversation with a disabled person.

Both Jack and Holly have lots of friends and both say they are the only people with a physical disability in their social group.

Scope’s research suggests three quarters of young people had never invited a person with a disability out on a social occasion.

Jack says he enjoys going out on nights out but Holly says sometimes going for a drink can be difficult for her.

“If you go to nightclubs it can be a nightmare because people try to set you up with their other disabled friends,” she explains.

“If you go to bars, sometimes you meet nice people, but a lot of the time they’re drunk and they’re like, ‘I’ll go with you, because I can tick you off my list.'”

She adds: “If I’m honest, it does get frustrating, but you just have to carry on, don’t you? There’s someone out there for everyone.”