BREAKING NEWS: Sunday, April 1st 2018

Eggs Cure Cerebral Palsy- Bobath News

Dear parents and patients, we interrupt your Easter weekend with this very special edition of Bobath News to bring you a very special newsflash. Today being Easter Sunday, we felt it would be a very appropriate time to inform you all of our latest amazing discovery. Eggs cure Cerebral Palsy!

Our excellent team of Bobath Tutors have discovered this amazing fact after a year of interviews with patients and their families, who report that eating one full egg every day for a year leads all symptoms of Cerebral Palsy to miraculously and completely disappear. Have no fear- every type of egg appears to have the same effect, so whether you like them boiled, scrambled or fried, this will be one cure every patient will enjoy the taste of!

So, at midday on this Easter Sunday, April 1^st, the staff of The Bobath Centre will be doing something we have never done before. We’ll be hosting an Easter Mass in the Centre’s garden, led by our local Catholic priest, Father Harry Potter. Afterwards, we will hand out a year’s supply of free eggs to every family that attends Mass. Please feel free to bring along any non-disabled younger siblings, as we will be happy to provide them with free chocolate Easter eggs. We advise against giving these to your disabled child, however, as they sadly won’t contribute to curing Cerebral Palsy.

After Mass, we will be providing all our guests with a closing down lunch made up of egg fried rice, egg sandwiches, boiled eggs, fried eggs and scrambled eggs.  All our staff will then retire from physiotherapy and prepare to start new lives on farms around the world, where we’ll be collecting eggs and selling them at reduced prices to families of people with Cerebral Palsy. This will allow us to continue our lifelong mission of treatment, without too much hard work!