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BREAKING NEWS: Monday, April 1st 2019

April 1, 2019

Chocolate Cures Cerebral Palsy: Bobath News

With Good Friday less than three weeks away, we start this month with some news that we hope you will find exciting. Chocolate cures Cerebral Palsy.

One of our young female patients, a beautiful six-year-old we’ll call Barbie, discovered this quite by accident. She bought a packet of chocolate wheelchairs from an independent sweet shop near Platform Nine And Three Quarters at King’s Cross Train Station.

She was so excited to find these disability-related sweets available that she wanted to eat them all at once. Surprisingly, instead of making her sick, this decision significantly improved her symptoms of Cerebral Palsy.

After some research involving many types of chocolate, and many excited children with Cerebral Palsy, we have discovered that eating 500g of chocolate daily can, in fact, cure Cerebral Palsy completely within a year. Much to the excitement of Barbie’s best friend, Ken, we have recently confirmed that chocolate cake does have the same effect as ordinary chocolate!

We invite you to our closing down lunch, to be held at the Centre at Midday on Monday, April 1st. It will be made up entirely of chocolate drinks, chocolate cakes and every variety of chocolate we can find. Younger siblings are welcome to attend.

Straight after the lunch, the Centre will close down and all our staff will start new jobs at Cadbury World the next day.


3 Comments leave one →
  1. Ralph permalink
    April 1, 2019 7:09 am

    Do chocolate oranges work? I like those.

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