A woman with a chronic pain condition has said she is being forced to choose between love and affording to live due to benefit restrictions.

Rose Kindred, from Ipswich, lives with hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) and wants to move in with her partner, but current benefits rules mean her payments would be slashed, making it unaffordable for them both.

She got in touch with the BBC via Your Voice, Your Vote, concerned about the way disabled people were treated within the benefits system.

“I think it’s a cruel system that forces disabled people to choose between the security of living and love,” she said.

Ms Kindred, 26, has been declared unfit for work by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) because of her condition, which causes the body’s collagen to mutate on a genetic level, leaving her with joint hypermobility and poor balance and co-ordination.

She receives a £405.40 Personal Independence Payment (PIP) per month and £809.64 in universal credit every four weeks.

Ms Kindred said she found it “nonsensical” that her parents’ income was not considered but if she moved in with her partner, who earns about £30,000 a year, a government benefits calculator suggested she would lose her universal credit payments.

“I’d like to move in with my partner of five years but unfortunately we can’t because of the living-as-if-married clause from the Department for Work and Pensions.

“That’s £405 a month to live on entirely, that’s before I pay for a private physio, which makes up for what the NHS can’t provide for me.”

“I’m basically stuck living with my parents because that’s the only option available to me.”

Ms Kindred also raised concerns about proposed changes to PIP by the Conservatives that would see changes to the way payments are made.

The charity Ehlers-Danlos Support UK said it had concerns about proposed changes to PIP.

In a statement, it said: “EDS is misunderstood and diagnosis can take decades. This makes it hard to evidence the daily struggle of living with this illness.

“We are concerned by the proposed changes to PIP and reached out to our members to better understand their experiences.

“We have encouraged them to respond to the consultation.

“Our Adviceline has also seen a significant rise in members asking for help with benefits which is indicative of the growing problems people with EDS face in the UK.”

A senior staff member at an independent school for children with special educational needs has been recorded by BBC Panorama saying how he wanted to drown a pupil in a bath “like a kitten”.

An undercover reporter spent almost seven weeks at Life Wirral in Wallasey and witnessed staff using offensive language to mock pupils for their neurodiversity or learning disabilities, as well as manhandling them into dangerous headlocks.

Last year, Wirral Metropolitan Borough Council paid the school nearly £1m. Whistleblowers told Panorama abuse was still happening there 12 months after the council was warned of problems.

The school’s CEO, Alastair Saverimutto says he “does not condone the behaviour revealed by the programme and five members of staff have been suspended”.

Places at the school – for secondary school age children – cost between £50,000 and £150,000 a year per child, depending on the support they need.

Wirral council has paid out more than £2.2m in total since the school opened in 2021. Ofsted has rated the school “good”.

Warning: This report contains offensive language

During her time undercover, Panorama reporter Sasha Hinde did work experience with sports staff at the school.

She saw some staff trying to do their best for pupils, but for the most part witnessed children being treated cruelly by the adults charged with taking care of them.

In the recorded conversation with head of operations Paul Hamill, he laughs and tells her the child he had fantasised about killing had overheard his comments.

“Just the thought of squeezing him while he’s scratching me arms, trying to wriggle out,” he recalled saying.

The pupil was taught off-site for two hours, four days a week, by two members of staff led by Mr Hamill – who had earlier described the child as a “little serial killer”, and said he deserved to sit in a room, “a padded cell on his own for the rest of his life”.

He told the reporter that after another incident involving the same child, who he said had smashed up a classroom and threatened him, he “threw him all over the place” but that “on the paperwork it was like I guided him effectively”.

When shown the footage, the child’s grandmother described Paul Hamill as a “violent, aggressive man… who should not be around children”.

Panorama wrote to Paul Hamill about these allegations. He did not respond.

During almost seven weeks at Life Wirral, Panorama’s reporter also witnessed:

• A mental wellbeing coach describing the school as “full of retards” and calling a teenager with dyspraxia the offensive term “flid”
• The same staff member saying that one pupil was behaving well because he had “beaten him into being a bit of a [expletive] bitch”
• Three members of staff using homophobic and sexist language towards pupils, calling one a “ponce” to his face and describing him as a “batty boy” to another pupil
• One of those staff members grabbing a pupil’s head and drawing what another child close by said was a penis on his face
• Pupils at the school being called “sketty”, a slang term for a promiscuous woman
• The head of sport putting a pupil in a headlock, mocking his reaction and then pushing him to the ground
• Another staff member dragging a pupil, who had been sitting at a laptop with headphones on, out of his chair and into a headlock
• The school’s CEO, who had been sacked as a special police constable for gross misconduct, saying he had used a police-style restraint involving a pressure point on a child, which had “[expletive] nailed him”

When Panorama showed the undercover footage to Dame Christine Lenehan, former director of the Council for Disabled Children, external, she said the school was “fundamentally unsafe” with “no respect for the young people”.

“There must be really poor leadership here, because leadership sets a culture of value. Leadership sets a culture of how we behave and what we do,” she said.

The mother of the boy who was subjected to homophobic abuse by staff says she fought for 18 months to get her son into the school as she thought it would help him.

When she was shown Panorama’s undercover footage, she said she was “disgusted” to hear such language in a setting for vulnerable children.

Like all the other children at the school, this child had an Education Health and Care Plan or EHCP, a legal document which set out his needs and how they should be met.

The Panorama reporter saw children being taunted for their neurodiversity or learning disabilities. One staff member told her, “We’re a school full of retards, we’re not the SAS love. Like, chill out.”

And another staff member mocked children for shouting, for making high-pitched noises, and for their tics – repetitive movements that can be associated with neurodiversity.

A child replied: “This is why we get no work done, because you’re insulting us.”

The school is led by headteacher Sarah Quilty who says in a promotional video that she has spent most of her career “working with children and helping children and it’s something I’ve really enjoyed and get a lot of fulfilment out of”.

During a catch-up meeting with the undercover reporter, Ms Quilty told her “some of our staff can be a little bit aggy with them [the pupils] you know and get quite wound up themselves.”

Wirral Council was warned about problems at the school in February 2023.

Sue Peacock, an independent Send (special educational needs and disabilities) advocate, told Panorama she had been helping a child, who had left the school, raise her concerns with the authority. In a statement shared with the authority the child wrote:

“I will never set foot in Life school again. Because of peer on peer abuse I witnessed, teacher on student abuse, physical restraints – police style. Lack of understanding about disabilities, staff saying incidents are not as bad as described.”

Wirral Council said it had investigated, including speaking to parents and children.

There were some concerns, but most gave positive reports about the school. The Department for Education was also alerted and asked Ofsted to inspect the school. Inspectors maintained its “good” rating.

Shortly afterwards, Panorama was contacted by whistleblowers reporting further concerns.

As well as witnessing offensive language targeted at the children, the reporter faced sexualised comments herself on a regular basis and was told to “get her tits out” by one staff member, while two others laughed.

‘I’m an entrepreneur, not a special educational needs specialist’

Panorama’s undercover reporter met the school’s CEO, Alastair Saverimutto. He told her he had big ambitions for his Life School business saying he wanted “100 schools” and to become the “first billion-pound educational division in the country”.

He is recorded saying that headteacher Ms Quilty is going to be “the richest head in the country”, saying “she’s going to be so minted”.

Mr Saverimutto also told our reporter he had been nicknamed “The Savage” during his time as a special constable for Merseyside Police, because he was “the first in to all the trouble”.

He told her he had used a police-style restraint on a pupil who had been lashing out.

Mr Saverimutto said the child had ignored a 10-second warning and, when the boy failed to calm down, he had “[expletive] nailed him”. “Straight in and he hit the floor. I just did one pressure point and he was gone.”

Mr Saverimutto, a former professional rugby player and ex-chief executive of Bournemouth Football Club, was sacked from the police in September last year, after failing to declare debts during police vetting.

According to figures from the Department for Education, the number of pupils with EHCPs taught in independent schools has risen by more than 160% since 2015.

Whilst background checks are carried out, those wanting to open an independent special school don’t need to have teaching experience or any knowledge of the Send sector. They are not required to employ qualified teachers and they can use their own curricula.

In addition to Mr Saverimutto saying he has suspended staff, his lawyers say school staff are suitably trained and that he personally “denies ever using inappropriate force on, or behaving aggressively towards, a pupil”.

They add the school “prides itself in having an excellent reputation transforming pupils’ educational experience and achieving positive outcomes for children who may not have succeeded in a traditional educational setting”.

Panorama wrote to head teacher Sarah Quilty. She did not respond.

Head of sport, Ollie, said the school was a “stressful and a demanding environment” and that he had “never harmed a student in any situation that has required physical intervention”.

The school’s mental wellbeing coach, Dan, told Panorama “isolated comments” in the staff room away from pupils were “simply dark humour” and a “well-studied coping strategy in high pressure professions”.

He said he had never had “any malicious intent towards” pupils, who he says he “has a great deal of care” for.

Wirral Metropolitan Borough Council says the “behaviours” outlined by Panorama “can only be described as truly appalling” and that “the impact the events have had on the families of the children who were attending the school concerned is devastating”.

It says it is investigating and Merseyside Police has been alerted.

The Department for Education says, “all pupils have now been removed from the school” and it is in contact with the council “to make sure an alternative education is provided”.

It says it will “take enforcement action including permanent closure should the school try to reopen”.

The mother of a teenager who turned up to a planned charity skydive says she was told he couldn’t jump because he has Down’s syndrome.

Lloyd Martin, 19, whose family are from Cardiff, had raised £2,500 for his gymnastics club ahead of the sponsored tandem skydive in Wiltshire.

Lloyd became a Guinness World Record holder in April for being the youngest person with his specific disability to complete a marathon anywhere in the world.

GoSkydive has apologised and said they now want to get to know Lloyd better before taking him skydiving.

Lloyd had been looking forward to the skydive near Salisbury on Thursday but his mum, Ceri Hooper, said she was told it was now called-off.

Ms Hooper said the head instructor explained it was because of worries about how Lloyd would react during the jump.

“We’re used to having many doors shut in our faces in the past, but this just brings everything back,” Ms Hooper said.

“We turned up, we did the briefing, everything was fine.

“But then he [the instructor] came over. He said ‘we don’t know how someone with Down’s syndrome is going to react when they jump out of a plane’.

“Well, you don’t know how anyone is going to react when they jump out of a plane,” Ms Hooper added.

“We were all shocked. They didn’t come and talk to Lloyd.”

Ms Hooper said medical checks by Lloyd’s GP confirmed he was “fit to jump” and she says the company knew about Lloyd’s disability when they booked.

“I can’t believe they allowed us to book,” Ms Hooper added.

“We’ve raised all this money, the fundraising for the gym, we’ve all had days off work, we’ve arrived, and it’s a ‘no’.”

Lloyd’s grandparents had travelled from Cardiff to cheer him on, but the incident had left Lloyd very disappointed.

“The rest of the team decided not to jump because Lloyd couldn’t, and Lloyd was disappointed about that,” she said.

“We’ve had so many barriers, so many doors shut in our face in the past.

“We’ve felt we’re getting somewhere with inclusivity, and then this happens.”

GoSkydive’s managing director Gordon Blamire said he supports his team’s decision to “get to know Lloyd better before taking him skydiving”.

“There is no doubt that we could have better communicated the requirement for Lloyd to be assessed prior to his visit to GoSkydive, for this we are extremely apologetic.

“We continue to learn and improve our interactions and this instance drives direct change in our policies.

“While we understand the frustrations of Lloyds’ family, our commitment is to Lloyd’s wellbeing. We want the opportunity to get to know Lloyd, his conditions and what he needs from us before we can take him skydiving.”

The national governing body, British Skydiving, says anyone with a disability should speak to the chief instructor at the sky diving school before entering into any commitment.

A Girls Aloud fan says getting the tickets to their concert was such a stressful experience he nearly missed out on going.

George Plumridge has retinitis pigmentosa and night blindness, and said the Ticketmaster website was “really inaccessible” and despite having all the tools he “just couldn’t do it”.

He said he has successfully booked tickets for theatre shows at the West End as their websites use a separate accessibility platform, and said Ticketmaster should “take a leaf out of their book”.

Ticketmaster said the accessibility of its site and ensuring that fans have equal access to events is of the utmost importance.

Mr Plumridge, 32, from Pontyclun, Rhondda Cynon Taf, was diagnosed with his condition aged eight, and said he was so stressed booking the tickets for Girls Aloud that he ended up getting timed out.

“You have to be so quick on the site, you get into a queue and there’s this timer and you’re panicking.

“I was filling the boxes wrong, because it wasn’t clear to me in terms of where you should write what, and I ended up getting timed out.

“I tried because I thought I have the tools, I’ve got my screen reader and a huge monitor so how can I not do it, but I just couldn’t,” he said.

He added it was really frustrating because it did not have to be like that, and not being able to do a simple thing like booking tickets and having to rely on someone else took away his independence.

“I’ve booked West End tickets to take my niece to see Frozen, and their booking system is so different.

“They have a separate platform, and all I had to do was register and show proof of my disability and then book, I had a completely stress-free experience.

“I was able to book disabled access tickets and tickets for my niece and family who were coming with me – it was so much easier.”

He said Ticketmaster would benefit from a similar concept.

“It would alleviate a lot of stress, and would mean I could get tickets independently rather than having to rely on other people.

“I appreciate that there are disability tickets, but if your disability doesn’t involve your sight then you could still navigate the website quickly, but with a visual impairment, it’s just impossible,” he said.

Mr Plumridge said he then gets anxious about potential issues at gigs despite going to them for years.

“I’m always apprehensive about going and my first thought is ‘am I going to get in? Or am I going to do something that makes me not get in?’.

“It’s things like the bouncers beckoning you forward when you are queuing, or the queue moving and me not seeing, and then the scanners and making sure I am doing it right, or bumping into someone.

“Because it’s dark, I find it harder to see, and one thing I have experienced when on a night out is being refused entry because staff assume I am intoxicated because my pupils don’t dilate like everyone else’s because of my disability so I am always worried about that,” he said.

He says he uses a cane because it makes him feel comfortable, but is a little hesitant that it could make him a target for pick pocketers.

And when picking tickets, standing or seating has its pros and cons.

“In seated I feel safer because of my allocated space, but the arenas with tiered seating worry me, and I do love a good dance, so I usually opt for standing.

“There are disabled tickets, but you can only go with one person, and I understand why that is, but sometimes you just want to enjoy a gig with a group of friends.”

However, Mr Plumridge said regardless of the barriers, being able to go to a gig is “incredible”.

“It’s about the atmosphere and being able to hear it. I love being able to feel the music and the beat, being with the fans. The buzz you get.

“I just can’t wait to see Girls Aloud reunite and perform.”

Director of the Royal National Institute of Blind People Cymru (RNIB) Ansley Workman said there were far too many unnecessary barriers to blind and partially sighted people being able to access live music.

“From buying tickets online, to venue access and feeling fully included in performances, the accessibility of live concerts really lags behind other experiences like visiting theatres or museums.

“Ticketing sites, organisers and venues need to listen to blind and partially sighted people to be able to find solutions that work. If other live experiences can get it so right, there really isn’t any excuse for live music to keep getting it wrong.”

What does Ticketmaster do for accessibility?

Andrew Parsons, managing director at Ticketmaster UK said: “Ticketmaster was the first ticketing agent to make accessible tickets available online in 2019.

“We are constantly reviewing our processes and we take on board all feedback to make improvements wherever we can.

“Our fan support team is always on hand to help, and we encourage any fan to reach out should they need assistance at any time.”

A woman who believed her father had a “painful” death because his deafness meant he did not get appropriate support said she was worried the same thing was now happening to her mother.

Carol Spencer, who is partially deaf, grew up using British Sign Language (BSL) with her parents Alan and Barbara Spencer, who were both unable to hear.

She said Alan’s death was “traumatic, chaotic, painful” because she believed there was a lack of BSL interpreters in the health system, and she felt she was going through “the exact same thing” again with Barbara being unwell.

The NHS said it was sorry the family, from Northampton, had “experienced challenges”.

Alan Spencer lived with Parkinson’s disease for 12 years and died with bowel cancer in November, aged 88.

His daughter said his death was distressing and she would “never, ever stop feeling guilty for that, because I should have done more”.

She said her mother, 83, was now unwell and in a recent six-week stay at Northampton General Hospital she saw a BSL interpreter just once.

Barbara, who has the reading age of a seven or eight-year-old, has since been discharged to a care home.

Jenny Dawkins from charity Deafconnect, based in Northampton, said the organisation heard similar stories “nearly every day”.

While the NHS should provide a BSL interpreter “this doesn’t always happen”, she said.

Legal duty

The Northamptonshire integrated care board, which oversees NHS services in the county, said: “The local NHS has a legal duty to ensure services are accessible to all members of the community and provide additional support where this is required or requested, such as providing information in alternative languages or formats.

“NHS services will also book interpreters including BSL interpreters for patients with additional needs.

“Although we are not able to comment on individual cases, we are sorry this family has experienced challenges accessing these services and we would encourage them to contact us directly via our Patient Experience team, so we can more robustly investigate the challenges they have been experiencing.”

Northampton General Hospital said it could not comment on individual cases, but said anyone with concerns should contact the relevant department.

Palmer Winstanley, acting chief executive, said the hospital “always tried to accommodate requests for interpretation services, such as BSL, to support our patients while they are receiving care”.